It's not Easy: Unforgiveness
Forgive and Forget. This phrase came up in a conversation I had with my sister a few weeks ago about whether it is possible to forgive and forget and if it was, whether or not it was wise.
Learning about forgiveness is a work in progress on my part and I want to believe that my standard on Forgiveness comes from Jesus. Building on that, I think the Bible shows that God remembers our sin no more, so that would indicate we are to forgive and forget right?
Nothing worth having is easy, at least not usually. It becomes easy when we've decided to do it over and over again. Take exercise for example, it's harder to do when you're just starting out but once you do it for a while, it becomes easier. I really wanted to have the habit of bathing at night because I liked how I felt in the mornings. It made it easier for me to get up and start my day. I fell on and off for a while and then it just stuck.
I want to believe that all we need to do is exercise our forgiveness muscles and ensure that we do it often enough that it's no longer a big deal. This is not to say that people won't try you, because they will. Ultimately, you make the decision to let it go and let bygones be bygones.
Forgetting.
We can forget wrongs done to us. Yes, it is possible. You may argue that it isn't smart because you want to protect yourself from people that have hurt you in the past. I agree, I think that wisdom should be applied and boundaries should be set.
However, there are situations and circumstances we dredge up, think about or even complain about because we refuse to forget. What wrong has been done to you that you claim to have forgiven but you keep thinking or talking about?
If you do this, chances are that you haven't fully gotten over that situation. You can set healthy boundaries and not hold a wrong against that person. That's what I would describe as “forgetting.” No longer cringing when you remember and having the innate desire to out the person's dirty laundry in order to make yourself feel better.
Maybe you need an opportunity to write to that person to ask for forgiveness or to let them know you forgive them. Not everyone is good with words and Warm Whispers provides the perfect alternative for you depending on your preferred method of communication. We offer calls and uniquely crafted messages to cater to your specific needs. You can book a call/message here.
An exercise
Who do you claim you have forgiven but haven't truly forgotten the wrong done to you by them? You can make a list, journal or go ahead to ask God to help you let that hurt go. It may take a few tries, it doesn't have to be automatic as long as you're making progress.
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Love,
Moniyeoluwa💜
I really needed this. Thank you
Which sister?